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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day and Recovering From Obesity is a Journey of the Mind Above all Else

 First things first, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

I have been thinking a lot over the past few days how much a journey of the mind my recovery from obesity has been.

Despite the fact, I've had two weight loss surgeries, the first a dismal failure for many reasons. I wasn't nearly emotionally ready for it and I wasn't aware of my own personal issues that were getting in the way of my recovery. Also, that I had a surgeon that pushed all my buttons and I reacted badly to that including running away from him, canceling appointments and not taking good care of myself. This resulted in a low weight loss along with neurological issues and anemia. I had trouble keeping food down for three years, which resulted in these issues. I was so upset by him, I couldn't return to his practice. The dynamic between us created all the same behaviors that existed in my family that led me to turn to food in the first place. Of course, I had to work my way through this with a therapist to really understand it. He would chastise and even yell at me telling me I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. Not helpful at all...

One thing, I will say is that my first surgeon was obese himself. Was this relevant? I'm not sure, but at the least, I thought it would have bought me some compassion from him, but it didn't. I don't recommend going to an obese surgeon for weight loss surgery.... I guess, I just don't have to justify this. It is what it is....

But, back to the point. Weight loss surgery is just a tool to help facilitate weight loss. There are all kinds, so do your research and decide which is best for you.

Gastric Bypass is the "gold standard" for weight loss and "curing" Type II Diabetes, the best outcome of my surgery. My mother was a Type I Diabetic, died when she was 40 and I was 15 and she had two legs amputated before her death, along with five heart attacks, the first on my 10th birthday. It was hell really for me. All this contributed to my eating disorder that led to my obesity.

On this Mother's Day, I am thinking of her and how sad she would be at my suffering, but yet, how glad she will be that I have transcended my issues. I am still making progress. I would like to lose 30-40 more lbs and I know I will get there.

I continue to work on my goals one by one, day by day and I think about the journey of the mind and that this is the most important part. Making small changes day by day in what I think, how I eat, how I cook and how I move, and over the next year, I will achieve my goals.

Stay tuned...



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